No Rest For The Beautiful




Imagine being a woman who is not only beautiful, but naturally trumps the norms for women in terms of height, body composition, and even your career.

You're "chosen" by a "high-value" man who is a decade older than you.

And you get to spend the rest of your life proving yourself to be worthy in the eyes of others, in hopes that it will prevent your husband's eyes from wandering. No emotional security, no peace. He can't be your protector when your heart feels unsafe with him. That's what I see when I look at this video.


It's just a performative snippet of their lives and in no way condemns what their actual relationship might be.

Still, this clip reminds me of the reality for many young beautiful women who get stuck in the impossible trap of being "chosen" just for being "pretty." It generally follows some prevailing misguidance on what a "high value" man is.

Hint: His only value to YOU starts with how much he actually values YOU.

If your appearance is what your partner values most about you, every change to your body, his mind, societal norms, and time itself will threaten your emotional security. The menace of change isn't limited to aging - even if you're a real life Dorian Gray, that same perfect face will get boring to look at. Unless your happily ever after includes absolute isolation in off-the-grid living; there will always be pretty, prettier, or simply 'newer' faces to compete with.

An endless contest for his spotlight; that's what it feels like to be the medal of the moment for a man who collects trophies.

As a lover of beauty, I appreciate that beauty is a gift to be enjoyed, shared, and used wisely. Like all magic, it has consequences. If a woman gets too comfortable in her beautiful shell, her soul gets lost there. The man enamored with her exterior, forgets or overlooks that an entire person is inside.



While no two bodies are identical, similarities abound - making comparisons natural. Who has the 'better' boobs, hair, legs, makeup, filter... surgeon? It depends on who you ask, but any man who appraises you this way believes you are replaceable. For his intended purposes, you are.


Margot Robbie & Jaime Pressly

Luckily for all of us, we really are snowflakes - and that's a good thing. Snowflakes are indistinguishable from each other when packed on to the same snowman, but each flake is an unrepeatable design shaped by physics, chemistry, and environmental conditions. Likewise, our interior workings - shaped by memory, emotion, experience, and neurobiology - is just as unique. And guess what? We don't melt, we change, and we create. This is our highest, truest self, and it has no basis for comparison - ever.

Who could replace Maya Angelou, Edith Piaf, or the mitochondrial Eve? Nobody. A man who loves your entirety knows that no comparison exists for you. He won't even bother looking. Consequently, you will never feel compelled to prove what is already known. That peace is priceless, and no relationship lacking it is worthwhile for a woman.


Bottom Line: The moment you find yourself proving your beauty to a man, is the moment you need to plan your departure from his life. There is too much splendor in the world to get stuck in one man's limitation of sight.







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