What 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, and 100 REALLY Look Like

Nothing ages a woman faster than her war with time, often instigated by men who have already lost theirs. Its weapons of mass destruction are covert and often veiled in self-defeating movements of  false empowerment. “This is what 35, 40, 50, 60 looks like.” Women lend their best selfie to a global pageant of absurdities where wrinkles, botox, and filters are attacked and defended by and against the trolls of the internet. 

If our faces are the representation of our lives, then every person walking the earth is hopelessly f*cked after 25. That’s the truth, not the ‘you haven’t aged at all!’ nonsense of the lying sisterhood. 

For men and women alike, our faces and bodies age. Like fingerprints, the lines of time are different for each of us - but they are always there; even in our efforts to soften them. It should be said that such efforts are only deserving of compassion and acceptance - never judgment. With so much of our worth being anchored to appearances; aging feels a lot like being sucked into a rip current, and pulled far away from the shore.

“Does anybody see me? Am I going to die here… alone?” You're definitely less visible than you've been before, but you'll only drown if you still haven't learned how to swim, ride the waves, and float. Mastery of these is among the many gifts of aging.

Men suffer too, albeit differently. The challenges of mortality are able live discretely in their own mind, without a globalized society publicly baiting their vulnerability. Men are conditioned early on to seek beauty in their partners, their interests, their achievements. By contrast, women are pressured to be beautiful. Few of us are taught the perspective needed to understand that our value grows with age - not as providers of beauty, but because we are seekers too. Furthermore, only women know what it feels like to vanish without dying. 

I'll be 46 in November and the root of my only true regrets is when I failed to recognize opportunities because they didn't appear the way I had envisioned them. Time brings many opportunities, and it is on our side. Women do become less visible with age, and that's not a loss of value - it's a catalyst to discover greater beauty and meaning in our lives.

To truly embrace the power of invisibility, is to finally realize that oceans, mountains, sunsets, storms, rivers, and even the seven wonders don’t become any more or less phenomenal with a good looking woman standing beside them. We are all dust in these swiftly passing winds; how much we shine has always been laughably irrelevant in the vastness of the universe. 

We are here to be stewards of this land and our tribes. 

We are: 

The love we give. 

The lessons we learn. 

The wisdom we share. 

The lives we save.  The beauty we discover. 

The obstacles we overcome. 

The patterns we change. 

The injuries we forgive. 

The hope we cultivate. 

The dreams we pursue. 

The goals we set. 

Celebrations.

Beginnings. Endings.

All we remember. All we choose to forget.

The legacies we leave behind.  Our truths, our story.

That’s what our age looks like, more of all of that. 

Faces are fun, take care of your skin. Do the best you can for your body. Do whatever makes you feel good in the flesh-suit you’re living in for now. Be as 'pretty' as you can, however possible, if your appearance is a source of pleasure for you. You only get one body (until science changes that), take care of that too. 

It’s true that some women age slowly; thanks to genetics, hygiene, and/or medical science. It’s true that women can still be objectively beautiful until their final breath. It’s simply factual that nobody looks better at 50 than they did at 25, barring some very atypical exceptions.  

Above all, you should have greater reverence for what time gives you than for the trivialities it takes away. You are getting better with age, but your face isn't where it shows - your life is.